music biz


This gig sounded ideal – I’d get to play electric bass in a rock band!  And earn lots of tips from being a chambermaid all summer at a Lake George resort! Sure – the pay was lousy – 7 days/week at $35/week plus $5 for each performance (plus room and board), but think of those tip$!!  I couldn’t wait to get there!


Unfortunately, UConn was on a slightly different calendar schedule than a lot of other colleges, so by the time my dad dropped off me and my 2 suitcases, electric bass and home-made amp for the summer at Lake George, nearly all the staff had paired up with one another. No matter – I wasn’t there for romance. My plan was to have fun making music and to earn enough money to pay for my first year on campus without resorting to student loans.


Blue Water Manor was every bit as beautiful as depicted in the brochure; rustic and serene.  All the usual vacation-by-the-water activities were available to guests, and every night there was live entertainment in the main lodge:


my rock band 2 nights/week, the other band I played in 2 other nights/week, a variety show night with magicians, country music and standup comedy, a talent show night featuring the guests, and every Saturday was an abbreviated production of WEST SIDE STORY. Every busboy, waiter, lifeguard, sous chef, etc. performed as entertainers, in addition to their “regular” jobs.

Our guitarist-leader was good! The lead singer was charismatic and along with the drummer, they had all decided on the repertoire before I’d arrived: lots of Beatles, Rolling Stones and a few rock groups that were new to me at the time: (Led Zeppelin?) I’d heard Creedence Clearwater Revival and Three Dog Night on the radio but I’d never tried playing anything but their hit singles, and of course, no one had sheet music or even chord charts so I just had to take the band’s word for it on how those songs went; there was a lot of “Born To Be Wild”, “In A Gadda Da Vida”, “White Rabbit” and “Dazed & Confused” on rock-band nights.  The other band provided dance music for the teenagers’ parents; songs like “Volare”, “Strangers In The Night” and “Besame Mucho”. I’d had limited experience playing electric bass with anyone but the records I owned, so it was challenging but also a lot of fun.

A word on wardrobe: I’d brought jeans and tee shirts and had sewn up half a dozen cute cotton dresses for my chambermaid duties –

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kinda like the short sleeve dress on the left here…

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or I think it might even have been THIS EXACT pattern!?

– never considering what DIRTY work cleaning guest rooms might be. My first week was spent readying the cabins down the road from the actual resort – and they were filthy!  Locked up since the previous summer, they hadn’t been touched in many months, they smelled atrocious and there were dead bugs everywhere!  I wanted to be a trouper but I got so grossed out by cabin after cabin of spiderwebs and dead mosquitoes. Still, I hung in for the promise of those huge tip$!  Then I began cleaning up after current guests, some of whom REALLY knew how to “party”!! (You haven’t lived until you’ve scrubbed up after folks who’ve managed to get sick ALL over the place!)  At that point, I was ready to give my notice – even though I was enjoying rehearsing and performing with the bands. Fortunately the guy they’d hired to run the dishwasher had just quit, so they shifted me to the kitchen – no cobwebs there!

The dishwasher position melted my calluses every day and then I’d build them back up playing or rehearsing with the band every night. I felt a little left-out when all the romantic couples were canoodling but I was mostly okay with it, since I’d taught myself to enjoy beer, which was half-price for employees (half of 35¢ per glass of Rheingold meant I could get a little buzz on every afternoon AND every night after work!)  In mid-July a bartender took me for a moonlight canoe trip out on Lake George, but there were so many mosquitoes biting, it put a definite damper on anything romantic. Towards the end of July one of the waiters took an interest in me – I remember necking with him while Neil Armstrong was taking “a giant leap for mankind” on the TV.

But shortly afterward, I had to face the fact that I wasn’t earning nearly enough to pay for college by being a dishwasher/bass player, so I gave my notice and headed back home on the bus. I remember being in tears, feeling like a hopeless failure at age 17, standing at the top of Dauntless Lane with my 2 suitcases, bass and amp, having called my sisters to help me schlep my stuff back to our garden apartment, since I could barely walk 5 steps carrying it all by myself. After 6 weeks at Blue Water Manor, I’d managed to save $150 – there I was, in mid-summer, without a job! What to do?

The next morning I saw a classified ad; the White Tower was looking for a waitress, so I hopped on the bus downtown, applied, got the job, (they supplied the uniform!)

– and… presto!  Tip$!!  For the next 6 weeks I flirted with the cute bus drivers, waited tables full time, sold my electric bass and homemade amp and then went off to college.



learning, music biz, self-acceptance

Gaslit* at the Gaslight

*gaslit = freaked outscaredunnerved into questioning ones own sanity (Oxford).

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While I was hardly “born in a trunk”, both of my parents were theater-folk; they’d met doing shows at Syracuse University and continued to perform in plays and revues throughout my childhood. My sisters and I would “run lines” for them when they prepared for a performance, type copies of my dad’s plays for 10¢/page (pre-Xerox!) and be an enthusiastic audience while they rehearsed and performed at tiny theaters around CT.  My father had a number of his one-act plays published and even had an off-Broadway show produced in NYC in 1965. The Fourth Pig

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My first (unpaid) theater gig was playing for an awards ceremony for the Mark Twain Masquers in Hartford when I was 15, and I later earned a few shekels accompanying dance classes while at UConn. I always liked actors personally but grew impatient with the number of rehearsals they wanted to do. (we jazz musicians like to “wing it” more than some other performers!)  When I participated in the terrific ASCAP, BMI and ASK workshops, I also discovered I wasn’t too thrilled with the degree of compromise required with working in the musical theater – the endless rewrites for non-musical reasons, for example. While it can be exciting to collaborate with other talented people, the old adage of “too many cooks” DOES come into play at a certain point – usually, for me, earlier than anyone else. (Which is ironic, since I truly love musicals – I’m just not crazy about the process of creating them, I guess!?)

So I’ve resisted involvement in many theatrical endeavors, despite my high regard for most thespians. In 2008, however, I agreed to sub for the pianist at a musical melodrama theater – an extremely underpaid gig that extended almost 2 years before I had enough financial wherewithal to walk away… umm, make that RUN away! For years afterwards I told myself that it was the unreasonable demands of the music director, some of the actors and staff that had made me so miserable during that period, when every single day for 7 days a week I would dread the one or two performances I’d have to play each Sunday. It was only after I’d subbed at another musical melodrama theater that I realized that, crabby and unappreciative as the cast might have been, they hadn’t been the problem – for me, it was the job itself! Juggling last-minute changes while responding to what’s happening on the stage and always being “on!” is nerve-rattling and I just don’t have the constitution to sustain that for 2+ hours. When it comes together, you might feel like Superman…

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but when something goes wrong (as it frequently can!), there’s hell to pay, whether it’s actually your fault or not!

Technological advances and shrunken production budgets have had a dreadful impact on the current state of musical theater; to be filed under “Spinning Straw Into Gold”,

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the last gig I was hired to play seemed easy enough when I checked out the songs via YouTube videos; the score was non-challengingly melodious and traditionally orchestrated, like musicals in the 1940s-60s. When I got to the first rehearsal, it was revealed that ALL of that orchestral music, (save a solo cello, solo flute and the music director’s piano) would be MY responsibility, courtesy of a jury-rigged computer-keyboard setup with multiple pedals, sampled sounds and sheet music indicating multiple instrument changes within 2 bars – an impossible scenario for low-tech me.  I knew that there was no way I’d ever be able to perform, let alone master this part, no matter how much I practiced, so I bowed out that afternoon. I later learned that playing this particular show had reduced more than one highly skilled professional pianist to tears.

My cap is off to theater musicians – especially music directors – who are able to run the show AND make superb music doing so. They create unique magic for an audience, and they are more-often-than-not ill-compensated for their alchemy.

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…… after all, fingers take a beating, doing this sort of thing!!

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music biz

Just for the joy of it



I can’t remember a time when I didn’t absolutely LOVE records – although I confess that when I first began hearing the radio as a little kid, I was under the impression that Elvis was actually there in the WROW studio, performing with the Jordanaires. (He always sang each phrase exactly the same, but it hadn’t occurred to me that they were spinning a record. After all, hadn’t the DJ just announced, “and here’s Elvis Presley, singing DON’T BE CRUEL”?)

As I grew into becoming a musician, I came to love records even more; for one thing, I could listen over and over, to learn a song, or just for pure enjoyment (cue The Beatles. Leonard Bernstein and Paul Desmond). For another, I realized that all I had to do was perform and record perfectly once, and then I’d never have to play or sing that song again!  I wanted to follow Steely Dan’s pre-90s paradigm and release albums without having to tour.


But oh, have times changed! According to many in the music biz, live performance is now mandatory; the only way a musician can expect to see a payday –

and yet “…never has music been less about music. Never have audiences cared less about the actual performances. They watch with their phones and it’s more about “look at me at the concert.”

Which leaves us musicians-who-love-to-make-records exactly where? When a superstar as established as Prince is hurting, what is left for those of us who never were superstars?

While it was never an easy career, there’s ample evidence all over the internet that the recorded music business has mutated into something virtually unrecognizable to anyone older than 40. Now, apparently not even mega-hit pop records receive their financial due!   AllAboutThatBass

An old friend emailed me 10 months ago, “Keep composing and playing and singing – It can be very liberating with no goal in mind. You know, just for the joy of it.”  I haven’t been able to respond to him yet because what I WANT to say is so politically incorrect and sounds so ungrateful. Because I was writing songs “just for the joy of it” 50 years ago. Because I made my living in music, and it stopped being “just for the joy of it” a long time ago, and I began to need to be paid for my music (like anyone else who provides a valued service) in order to live with myself.

Dave Tull apparently agrees:  I JUST WANT TO GET PAID

Being primarily a jazz musician, I never expected to get rich, even long before Napster started giving away the store. Since jazz is such a miniscule percentage of the record business, it now surprises me how many websites have bootlegged my records and encourage their visitors to download my music for free.  I’m pretty sure I could deal with the reality of aging-out of pop culture if I wasn’t aware that my music, like Prince’s, is now being stolen all around the world. (Doesn’t that mean there’s value in it, that it’s worth something to someone, if they bother to post it online?)

Well, it is most definitely worth something to ME!  When I listen to the CDs I’ve completed, I’m inordinately pleased with the final results. Sure, there were some compromises, but the pains that were taken in the writing, production, performances – these recordings come as close as possible to expressing what I intended them to convey, and I’m very, very proud of them and all the musicians, engineers and producers who added so much to what I’d envisioned. Since there’s virtually no pay day at this point, I may not be inspired to create a whole lot more music “just for the joy of it”, but I’m extremely glad to have done what I’ve done to date.

Marilyn Harris Music Clips

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music biz

Music for a Joyous Occasion?

After it became apparent that the ad agencies of Michigan Avenue (the Chicago version of Madison Avenue) weren’t going to pull our scorched jingle company from the fire, it was time to make a new plan. Our pastor suggested we use our musical skills to play weddings and funerals, so we did some research, asked friends who had played those types of gigs, got feedback from other clergy, constructed a song list of the most requested religious and secular titles, bought 2 new VERY heavy amplifiers and began marketing ourselves. We made hundreds of cassette demo tapes, took out ads in the Chicago Wedding Guide magazine and sent out thousands of the following pamphlets to every church within 20 miles:BrochureCovers  BrochureBlurb


The wording for this sort of thing can get dicey, (especially with funerals) because we’re talking about providing music for…. death. Grieving people are at their most vulnerable and it’s important to strike the proper note of concern and compassion, while projecting sufficient confidence that the music you’ll be adding to the service will be reverent, inspiring and tender. Interestingly enough, the few funerals we were called to play (all at our own church!?) were relatively easy gigs.

The weddings, on the other hand…. ah, the weddings!!  The term “Bride-zilla” had not been invented but such things did exist!

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We met more than a few GROOM-zillas, too….

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not to mention PARENTS of the happy couple….

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While we had our own ideas, wedding music is generally “chosen by committee” and everyone has input except the musicians! Thus we wound up adding a LOT more titles to our song list.

I know now that even by late 80s’ standards, we were charging way too little for our services – but we really needed to get some gigs, and we hadn’t figured out how much actual WORK was involved in providing music for a half-hour service, let alone a (gulp!) 90 minute Catholic wedding mass, complete with communion for the entire congregation!  We also underestimated the toll schlepping those 2 amplifiers, keyboard, EVI gear and mics, stands, etc. would take on our bodies and our spirits – especially when we got home and still had to carry all that gear up the rickety winding stairs to our 2-flat apartment.


backstair stairs

We DID have a few nice moments playing weddings; there was one where the happy couple wanted “their song” performed during the mass AND during the reception right after AND during dinner. (They had hired a DJ for post-dinner dancing so we actually got to go home and feed and walk our dogs after 5 hours). “Their” song was  ALWAYS by Atlantic Starr – and we sang the played the duet over and over, to their obvious delight! By the end, all of the guests as well as the complete wedding party were singing along with us!

But most of the weddings were grueling – a high-stress situation with no relief until the check finally cleared.  Brides and/or their mothers were always adding MORE special songs we had to perform, and higher choir lofts we had to schlep all our stuff up to… not to mention waiting until everyone was gone before we could break down, pack and head home, where another schlep  awaited us. It got VERY old VERY fast.

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The end came after a June wedding at a Catholic church. We’d agreed to provide an hour’s music, collected 50% down of the $150 fee we were charging and then things got more and more bizarre; MANY midnight phone calls amending this song and substituting that song, micromanaging every detail imaginable. It was hotter than Hades on the wedding day as we schlepped all of our equipment to the choir loft where I was to play on the out-of-tune organ as well as my keyboard.


We were there early, before any of the wedding party had arrived, so we got to really “case the joint” – and this was turning out to be a BIG wedding! Outside the church was parked a huge video truck and inside were no less than 7 cameras, each with its own cameraman.

Of course the wedding didn’t start on time, but we were instructed to entertain the guests until things got going. 45 minutes later we got to play Lohengrin, and then there was the lighting of this candle and that candle, the mother-of-the-bride’s special music, the groom’s family’s music, etc. etc. etc.  The mass went on for almost 2 hours and then we FINALLY got to play the recessional, pack up and head home. As we got to our car, we noticed the arrival of a huge stretch limousine with a hot tub in the back!!!

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That was the final straw. We had just sweated and played and sang for almost 3 hours, (not to mention all those midnight phone calls) for a payday of $150 for both of us, and this couple was going to ride away in a hot tub!?

And what was waiting for us at home? More schlepping up 2 flights of stairs!  And two very sweet schnauzer dogs, thank heavens!


music biz

Getting OUT of the Jingle Business


I can’t remember when I didn’t want to make my living in the music business.  After struggling to read my illegible scores with their atrocious hen-scratchings, professor Hale Smith encouraged me to learn music copying as a survival skill, so that’s one thing I made sure to study under his tutelage. My plan for after-graduation: become a music copyist in NYC while working on finding gigs as a composer/arranger/songwriter/piano player/singer.  It might not be possible now, but it was possible in 1972, and that’s what I did.

In addition to playing piano bars and off-off-Broadway shows, transcribing lead sheets for publishers, singing demos (while writing my original songs in my off-hours), I began copying for jingle writers and was struck by how rich they were and how much fun they appeared to be having. In no other professional setting did I see grown men dancing with each other during recorded playbacks! I already LOVED the studio, but add the fast-pace of jingle production, the variety of styles and genres from session to session, and how incredibly versatile and expert the musicians and singers were, nailing their parts on the first run thru? It was heaven as far as I was concerned.

Though it took a little while to break into it, the jingle business was very good to me; I got to work with the creme-de-la-creme musicians in state-of-the-art recording studios, earning decent union wages and residuals (plus pensions, thank you AFofM, AFTRA and SAG!). My fast, legible hand and accuracy were valued and rewarded. I got spoiled – I had to trade in my upright piano for a grand because I could hear the difference and had gotten used to a better-sounding instrument. I made unforgettable friends among the musicians, singers, engineers and clients, and had the thrill of hearing my scores come to life. Sure, not every ad campaign was artistically a gem, but it was SO gratifying to see a spot I’d worked on running on TV or to hear myself singing one of my jingles while waiting in the dentist’s chair.

Best of all, through working in the jingle business, I met and married the love of my life. Soon after the wedding we started our own company –

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– and made hundreds of sales calls every day, trying to develop a clientele at advertising agencies.  It was challenging and also a lot of fun at times. Other times were frustrating as we learned the compromises of running a business; how hiring a sales rep who has only had experience in the non-profit sector doesn’t work, how hiring an experienced advertising guy who refuses to USE his connections that he’d promised doesn’t work, how offering a coupon for “$1,000 off your next jingle” does NOT work!


In the middle of our 3rd year in business, we were getting a lot of phone calls from students at Eastman and other music conservatories, wanting to know how THEY could break into the field. After one especially long call, when I should have been cold-calling to generate more work for our company, my husband asked, “why are you spending so much time telling people how to do it? Why are you giving it away for free? Say, why don’t we write a book and get PAID for sharing what we’ve learned the hard way?”  So we wrote and self-published GETTING INTO THE JINGLE BUSINESS.


We had 500 copies printed at the offset printers downstairs from our office/apartment/studio, collated the pages and staple-bound them ourselves, then had the offset guys trim our books. We took out an ad in the union paper and after we’d sold half of them via mail order, we began handing them to potential clients at meetings, saying, “See? You think you don’t know us, but we wrote the book on the jingle business!” – a winning sales pitch if there ever was one.  (well, less embarrassing than that $1,000 off coupon!)

When our client list began to thin out, we took a couple “geographical cures” before facing the fact that our company was in serious trouble. We scheduled an appointment at S.C.O.R.E. to get advice from a retired business professional. Because we were driven and rewarded by the actual creation of music more than the bottom-line, it was difficult to explain our situation. When we showed him our business plan, financials, demo reel, full-color poster, ads we’d taken out in trade magazines and then described our then 7 year odyssey in the jingle jungle, he literally laughed us out of his office, saying, “you’re not in business!  You’re PLAYING AT being in business!”

We took a hiatus to regroup and after a couple years got back into jingles – my husband freelancing as an arranger/producer for other music houses while I extracted parts from his scores and played piano bar gigs around town. We had some profitable years again and, looking back on our beginnings, I penned one of the short MUSIC HORROR STORIES about those compromises I referred to earlier.

Music Horror

It really was fun while it lasted. The advertising music industry began to fall apart when agencies chose to ignore the unions and started licensing “hot” and sometimes cheap library tracks willy-nilly in lieu of creating custom underscores and jingles for their clients. In the 1970s-80s there had been at least 150 jingle companies in NYC and between 45 – 70 jingle companies in Chicago, not to mention other cities around the country. Some were one-man or mom-&-pop operations like ours, while others had large staffs of writers, producers and support personnel. These days there’s barely a handful of production companies devoted solely to creating jingles, which is a shame, because advertising music can be fun – for both the creators and the audience!

I count myself blessed to have worked on jingles in the mid-70s thru the 90s – there was some terrific advertising being created and aired, and I learned so much about music, myself, people and life.

growing up, music biz

You’re FIRED!


I lied about my age to get my first job as candy girl at the Allyn movie theater in Hartford. My mother changed my birth certificate and at 14, I was already 5’8″, so I didn’t have any trouble convincing anyone I was 2 years older. I worked part time after school in the spring of 1966 and more hours through the summer until I was unceremoniously dismissed. I was never given a reason – just all of a sudden, my name was conspicuously absent from the schedule. When I asked about it, there was no answer and I puzzled over it for a long time.


After giving notice at my first post-college job at E.B. Marks Music as librarian, I accepted a new job as music editor at Belwin-Mills, only to find out that the job had been eliminated. I was kept on for a month, however, which enabled me to look for other work and qualify for unemployment insurance. I wasn’t exactly FIRED and it turned out to be one of the best things to happen in my beginning career, since I met songwriter Jack Perricone, copyist Arnold Arnstein, some men who wanted to produce an album with me and I got to work on some interesting projects before my departure for freelance life.


In July 1975 I was hired as a last minute replacement to play piano bar on the T.S.S. Fairwind, cruising the Caribbean for 11 weeks.  I lasted five.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the job, but I had a bit of an attitude.  I wanted to play and sing the songs that I wanted to do, not endless requests for “Tie A Yellow Ribbon”!  I was notified right before our return to Ft. Lauderdale that my services were no longer required – and I puzzled over losing that gig for a couple years – until I figured out that I hadn’t really performed as expected – you can’t be lamenting how your man done you wrong when all the audience wants to hear is “Tie A Yellow Ribbon”!


Over the years I had a number of jobs that became so untenable, I was forced to quit – sometimes under scary circumstances; stuck in Altoona, PA with a drunken abusive boss, I lasted less than one night of a 2-week engagement, taking the 5 AM train back to New York, and had to borrow money from a friend to pay my bills.  One of my heroes growing up refused to pay me union scale for copying work, got really ugly about it and I had to stop working for him, even though I’d always dreamed that he would produce my records, as he had for Miles Davis and Dave Brubeck. Other clients made things so uncomfortable that I knew I had to leave or something bad would happen such that I wouldn’t be able to work at all.

But that’s not the same as being fired – it still feels crummy, like you’re being forced out – but it’s not the same as being kicked to the curb.

Most recently I was fired from another piano bar gig in Tucson – and  not for not taking requests!  I’ve wised up and I’m okay with playing whatever song the audience wants to hear, providing I know how it goes!  But I had the temerity to ask for compensation equal to what other musicians were getting and… WHOOSH!  Kiss that gig goodbye!

What I’ve learned from my sketchy job history is to stay flexible and remember that it’s not the end of the world if you lose a job. Something else will come along and you’ll survive.

learning, music biz

What I Learned At Summer Camp!


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In a weak moment about 3 weeks ago, I accepted a gruesome gig – 2 weeks playing piano for a new drama school’s Musical Theater Camp.  The woman who called me is one of my former nemeses from the Gaslight Theater, where I had toiled and felt abused for 2 years.  She’s a VERY talented performer, but she’d been a royal pain and made an otherwise difficult job a lot more so – so I really should have known better.

I DID know better, but I felt flattered and accepted anyway.  Her pianist had wigged out with no notice and she “needed” me.  And I needed the money – I just bought a new car – and these days, money is money, no matter how meager!  And playing piano IS one of the things I do!

Heck – It was only supposed to be 2 hours/day for 10 afternoons. But it turned out to be MANY more hours than that, with no additional pay (which had been truly putrid to start with), so I felt more than a bit like a chump.

I began to immediately regret having said “yes” to this gig and I wound up “compensating” by buying food treats on the way home every day – something I’d done to survive my Gaslight gig.  I’ve done this before – MANY times!  I’ll do something bone-headed, beat myself up for it and then TREAT myself with goodies to compensate.  You might call it “Beat and Treat”.  Frankly, I wanted to forget I’d ever agreed to DO this gig and couldn’t WAIT until it would be over – I was kicking myself and counting the minutes!!  WHY did I accept?  WHAT was I thinking?  HOW could I have been so stupid??

But then I kept getting ideas on how the school could improve – starting with proofreading their website, which was LOADED with typos (a real no-no if you’re selling “education” to parents!) – and other ideas on how they might interface better with the community and find more new students.  I bought a used task chair at the Goodwill since they didn’t have a piano stool.  I brought in poster suggestions for their newly painted walls, and lists of local theater folks who they might contact for referrals or guest lectureships.  Every day I’d come across something that might help them succeed.

Now, one of the drawbacks to working on a show is that the songs get seared into your brain – even while the rehearsal is over, you’re still hearing the music in your head.  So I had 2 weeks of YOU’RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN – which is not one of my favorites!   And these kids were having real trouble learning the few songs they had to do – so we went OVER and OVER and OVER each song!  Every one of them had visions of giving their Oscar acceptance speech – and yet they seemed to have ZERO retention of what we’d reviewed 10 minutes ago, let alone from yesterday!

Turns out I just don’t like kids that very much – which I already knew.  I just didn’t know how MUCH I don’t like them – at least theatrical wannabes with A.D.D., which was pretty much the lot!

Even so, there WERE a couple of moments when I felt that I might have made a difference:  one 11-year old kid was disruptive pretty much constantly and just wouldn’t follow directions.  Partly because he’s extremely overweight and doesn’t move well but mostly because he’s easily bored and has NO self-control.  Several times the director wound up calling his mother to come take him away mid-rehearsal because he was so unruly and uncooperative.  At one point in the second week, I became as frustrated with the director as I was with him when he refused to jump up and down in place with all the other kids;  he’d shuffle his feet, turn around, lean on the wall – ANYTHING but jump as instructed!   So I got up from the piano and started bunny-hopping towards him, with all of my flab vibrating all over, saying, “I’m 60 years old, I weigh 250 pounds – 2 years ago I weighed 350 pounds – I have heel spurs, neuromas and hammer toes on both feet! – if I can do this, YOU sure can do it!”  And it got him going!   He didn’t disrupt any more rehearsals, either.

The other incident was when the kid playing Charlie Brown stomped off the rehearsal after his goofing around almost blinded another kid and he’d been called to task by the director and everyone else in the room.  He became defensive and then mortified, refusing to come back for over 1/2 hour.  This brought the rehearsal to a dead stop, one day before the big “show”!  Even when threatened with the call to his mother, he wouldn’t budge but kept pouting in a corner.

After the director had left the room, I went over to him and whispered that “the reason they always say ‘the show must go on’ is that… the show MUST go on!  With you or without you, the show keeps going on!!  And I’ll let you in on a little secret…  you’re gonna get your feelings hurt for the rest of your life – that’s just what happens – people point out your mistakes and wind up hurting your feelings!  The faster you get over it, the more fun you get to have!”  He perked up after that, came back to the rehearsal and…. the show went on the next day!  Funny thing was that while I was telling him this, I realized that I was telling MYSELF this, too – and that I could apply it directly to the situation I found myself in with this acting school.  Sure, they’d used and abused me, adding on to my hours and duties and not compensating me fairly – I figured out that between the extra hours and the daily commute, I was barely making minimum wage!   They had dissed me and devalued me – but what else is new?  The sooner I let go of it, the happier I get to be.

Not a bad thing to learn at summer camp!

July 2012