Mrs. Jinks

I’m resigned to the fact that I will never be spiritually enlightened; I’m pretty sure that involves embracing all of creation with love. But like Mr. Jinks, I draw the line at rodents, and especially “meeces”.

I hate meeces to pieces!

A couple days ago I noticed a small amount of coffee grinds on a pantry shelf – and then the next day there were MORE coffee grinds, and I wondered, “might a mouse have invaded our home after the last monsoon deluge that flooded the backyard for an hour or so?” Alas, that was the case! And BOY, did she make a mess!

I say “she” because while we’ve had “mus musculus” breaches in the past, I’ve never before seen such incredible hoarding of foodstuffs. As I began to clean up, peeking into every corner on every shelf and finding more and more stuff stashed all over, she jumped out at me! Really got the old adrenalin pumping! BOY, was she fast!

I think she was “expecting”. We had most of our bagged foods in plastic boxes but nothing deterred her from stockpiling HUGE amounts! And she got into EVERYTHING! Coffee! Hibiscus tea! Almonds! Pistachios! Atkins peanut butter cups!

What she couldn’t chew into (jars of artichoke hearts, canned green chilis, worcestershire sauce), she soiled on, EVERYWHERE! If anyone needs inspiration to declutter and recycle unused kitchen appliances, extra place settings or anything else they’ve been storing in their pantry, I’d advise them to invite a pregnant mouse over for a few days; they’ll wind up needing to clean EVERYTHING and probably feel much more ready to part with those items they rarely use!

All creatures great and small – yes, perhaps God DID make them all. But meeces who invite themselves to be houseguests will be meeting their Maker sooner rather than later – dispatched to Mouse Heaven in short order!

“Who, me?” Yes, YOU!!

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